Opening Old Wounds [Maria]

[benbarrow]

Serenity Valley. Ben hadn't been here since that final night when the Independents lost the war to the Alliance. He had no idea why he came here now. Perhaps because it had already been a decade, and perhaps he felt like he owed it to the men he lost. He realized that it had already been a decade that he lost the closest friends he ever had.

Flashes of his last moments here went through Ben's head: blowing up the final AA-gun, running from that fighter, the explosion of the missile near him and being tossed into the air, to land his head on a rock. If it hadn't been for George patching him up immediately afterwards and dragging him to safety, Ben would never have survived this place.

Ben sat down on one knee and stuck his hand into the soil. Once again he could hear guns firing, artillery exploding and men screaming his name just as they were about to die.

He closed his eyes and meditated for a while, and then stared at the morning sun.

Ben started to wonder where it all went wrong. Why he had become one of the most infamous people in the 'Verse. What if, back then, when he was just an 18-year old boy travelling the 'Verse, he had decided not to go to Londinium, and didn't get stranded there? If he hadn't met his old friends, and started doing robberies and burglaries just so they could survive? What if he had just returned home to Haven. Would he still have become an Independent soldier?

Perhaps he would've become a family man, just like he always wanted before he started travelling the 'Verse. A wife, kids, a ranch somewhere on one of the border worlds. But that wasn't for him anymore. The man he had become could never have those things, no matter how badly he wanted to.

"Bulletproof" Ben Barrow was a hero among the Independents. But one fact that no one hardly knew anything about is that he was equally feared as he was respected on the Independents' side. "Bulletproof" was all good and well, and a good man and a hero, until he got within 10 feet of people, then he was someone you didn't want to be alone with for too long.
People had judged Ben on his actions, rather than to judge him on his character, as he was actually a friendly, good-hearted man who take care of his own. Those that knew stuck by him until the end, those that didn't avoided him like the plague. It caused Ben to be deprived of the one thing he always wanted, but never could get: the love of a woman.

His entire life, Ben had never known the love of a woman. There was a time when he didn't have time for it, when he was too busy taking care of others, putting their well-being on top of his own. But when the time finally came, and he wanted someone to call his own, he couldn't get it anymore. No matter how hard he tried, women always turned him down, just because of his reputation. They didn't even take the time to get to know him, and those that did rejected him, just because of his name.

During the war, couples were formed, but after being rejected so many times Ben started to look down on them, and considered it as a weakness. Even though there were no rules against fraternization on the Independents' side, Ben didn't allow couples to be formed in his unit, and dealt harshly with those that did.

He didn't do so because of the principle, but simply because they had something he never could get: love.

[alice]

A few of Maria's crew had requested that they stopped here. So they could pay their respect. Being a rather compilable woman, she agreed. And here they were. She found herself feeling a bit... aloof about it all. She completely understood the capacity of what happened here. The weight of it all. The importance of the battle that took place. She wondered what would have changed if that battle had gone the other way. Everything? Perhaps nothing. She sympathized with the independents, but mostly it was hatred of the Alliance that drew her to them. The hatred of her ex-husband.

She began towards Serenity Valley, her black heels sinking ever so slightly into the soft dirt with each step. Her thoughts traveled to her ex-husband. Elias. The Alliance Captain. The horrible man who had beat her until her couldn't stand for even looking at another man. Love had never even entered the equation between the two. Love. She scoffed out loud at the word as it crossed her mind.

They were never in love. Although Elias demanded she say in every morning to him, or else her ravaged her for fun. She shuddered as she thought of it. She still wondered to herself why she hadn't killed him sooner. The thought of him touching her made her want to vomit. Love. Ha. The only time she had ever known love was in the eyes of a few other men she'd met in their travels. And she had been swiftly punished for that knowing that glimmer of love.

She struggled over a boulder in her heels, and then saw him. A man. She quietly headed closer to him, hoping to get a good look at his face. And then she tripped, almost falling into him, and heading for the ground.

[benbarrow]

Ben thought back of the one woman that he actually might've had a chance with: Lindsi. The girl he knew only by her first name, and the only one that would dance with him at one of the victory parties. She never said a word, but her smile was enough to warm Ben's heart over and over again. Unfortunately, just as he was about to talk to her, Serenity Valley happened, and they all had to go to this rocky valley not knowing that in the end they'd lose the war.

Ben had no idea what had happened to her. During the war she worked for Ben's commanding officer in the commandpost, but according to witnesses it got destroyed in the final hours of the battle. Maybe if he hadn't been fighting alone that night... Perhaps if he had been more careful... Maybe he could've gotten them all to safety, both Lindsi and his friends. Just maybe he wouldn't have been condemned to wander the 'Verse alone for so long, always searching for those he loved and cared about in vain.

Ben was dwelling on the past, and he knew it. But instead of fighting it like he used to, he was just going to revel in it and let it all happen. He had anticipated how he was going to feel, and had brought a bottle of whiskey. Perhaps that would ease the pain a little.

Ben turned around and just as he was about to reach for the backpack that was laying behind him, Ben got knocked down on his back by an entity that felt sort of pleasant. This obviously wasn't some Alliance agent that knocked him down. It took him a while before he could make out the figure, and slowly but steadily an angel-like figure formed in front of him.

It was a woman, and a very beautiful one to boot. For a moment he thought it was Lindsi herself, but then felt slightly disappointed when he saw that the woman that was laying on top of him only looked like her.

This of course didn't take away the fact that Ben was pleasantly surprised, yet he couldn't help but wonder why this woman would jump him so early in the morning.

"Good morning." Ben said. "Uhhh, I don't know who you are miss but I like where this is going."

It wasn't the most elegant thing to say, but Ben figured a joke would break the ice quick enough. He figured it would also save the woman a lot of embarrasment if he handled the situation lightly. Although he wouldn't mind it one bit if she'd lay down on him a bit longer.

"Name's Ben." Ben introduced himself. "May I have the pleasure of your name as well?"